NLP and Weight Management

Weight management is a systemic process involving a number of different factors. Managing ones weight involves establishing a balanced and effective strategy for a healthy life style; including nutrition, activity and external support. In addition to having mechanisms for getting appropriate feedback, and creating accountability for one’s actions, an effective weight management involves a nutrition plan, an activity plan, group support and a set of effective tools to make appropriate changes in eating habits and other weight related behaviours.

7 Key Issues related to the Behavioural Aspects of Weight Management.

 1. Recognizing your goals and expectations.

 2. Learning to think realistically

 3. Coping with out-of-control eating

 4. Controlling Emotional Eating

 5. Handling Social Situations

 6. Getting others involved in your weight loss

 7. Dealing with plateaus and setbacks

A second set of behavioural issues arise once an individual has reached her goal and is attempting to maintain it as a “new baseline” weight. Some of the challenges that emerge during the maintenance period include.

 1. Staying motivated

 2. Dealing with feelings (fear, vulnerability and  disappointment)

 3. Obtaining support

 4. Handling lapses

 5. Managing stress

NLP principles have been applied with success to help people more effectively manage their weight and adjust their eating habits. Establishing “well formed outcome” for example is an essential aspect of achieveing any desired state. The first condition for a well-formed outcome is that it be stated “positively”. One of the most challenging aspects of weight management is that people tend to define their goals negatively. That is, they think in terms of “loosing” weight and “keeping it off”. This puts them into the position of constant avoidance. Their activity becomes all about going away from something instead of toward something else.

Outcomes stated in language such as “losing weight”, “stopping eating so much”, “getting rid of fats and sweets”, “keeping off pounds” etc., are what is known in NLP as embedded negatives.

Paradoxically focuses the persons attention precisely on what you are asking the person to avoid. (The only way of not to think of it is to think of something else).  Unfortunately, many traditional weight management interventions are geared toward fighting against food, feelings and one’s own body. This can increase the sense of guilt and struggle that people experience, and even set up potential self-fulfilling prophecies. Positive statements needed… Once a well formed outcome has been established, a person can identify the different levels of resources needed to go toward his or her desired state.

From the perspective of Systemic NLP, weight management is a multi-level process involving factors on several different levels of change.

Environment: Too many sweets in the house. Clean out cupboards and get the support of my family.

Behavioural Factors: I eat too much and don’t exercise enough. I need to establish more healthy habits.

Capabilities: I don’t know what to eat. I need help to

Beliefs and Values Issues:   I am not sure it is important enough, or even possible for me to lose weight and stay there.  I probably don’t deserve to anyway. I need to strengthen my desire to be slim and to believe it is ok for me to achieve what I want.

Identity  Who I am is fat. I need to work on my self-esteem and a better self-image.

Spiritual Issues:  I feel that there are deeper and more important things in life than appearances. I need to know how losing weight or reaching my goal weight relates to my purpose or mission in life.

Historically, most weight management programmes have focussed primarily on the environmental and behavioural aspects of weight loss, providing some coaching on the level of capabilities. Depending on the person and his or her situation, however, effective weight management may involve addressing some or all of these levels to some degree. In fact, long term weight loss almost always always involves addressing issues at the levels of beliefs, values and identity.

Eg. A key issue in weight management is addressing the phenomena of “plateaus” and “relapses”. There are probably people who have literally lost 1000nds of pounds in their lives. The problem is that they put them all back on on again. (This is humorously referred to as the “rhythm” method of girth control) A relapse, however, does not necessarily mean that a person has failed. But it will certainly feel that way. He or she will think; I am not only not losing weight, I am putting it back on again. What does that mean? No point, I am hopeless etc…

Clearly plateaus and relapses are a very critical time for someone attempting to manage his or her weight. The possibility is that the person will become disheartened, give up and go into a full regression. Then they end up back where they started or even worse. It is at this time in particular that a person needs the appropriate tools, support and self awareness.

From an NLP perspective, plateaus and relapses occur as a result of a natural pattern in the change process known as the Bandura Curve – based on the work of cognitive psychologist Albert Bandura. At the beginning of the process of weight loss, the person is primarily concerned with whether or not it is possible to lose weight and what he or she is supposed to do in order to make it happen. At the relapse point, the person knows it is possible, and that he is at least capable. The question becomes more whether or not it is really so desirable. People start asking themselves, Do I really want it? Do I really deserve it? Is it safe? It becomes more of an issue of beliefs and identity. It is totally different to wonder. “Can I lose weight?” than to ask “Am I now going to be a thin person the rest of my life”? These are not the same questions at all. One question has to do with short term behaviours and capabilities. The other has to do with ones identity and long term life style.

At the beginning people think: Off course I want to be thinner – Off course I deserve to be thinner. Why are you even asking? I just need to know what to do. At the plateau or relapse point, people already know what to do. The issue become more of “Who am I and why am I really doing this”.

The type of support a person receives at this point is not only crucial for his or her success at the task, but has important repercussions upon other aspects of that persons life. 

During this natural relapse time, a person needs non-judgemental support rather than either simple cheerleading or criticism. A person also needs to have the appropriate tools and strategies to address the deeper level issues associated with the plateau or relapse.

One very important NLP contribution to dealing with both obstacles and inconsistency in weight loss is the notion of “positive intention” that at some level all behaviour is (or at one time was) “positively intended” Another way to say it is that all behaviour serves (or at one time served) a “positive purpose”. The positive intention behind eating candy, for instance, might be to get comfort or to reward yourself. Once the positive intention behind the seemingly negative behaviour has been discovered, alternatives are much more easily found. According to NLP it is important to have at least 3 other choices that are as effective for fulfilling the positive intention of the problem behaviour in order to appropriately address the obstacle.

The process of identifying positive intentions and creating new choices, known as “reframing” in NLP, helps to transform a persons perception of a relapse from “self sabotage” or “failure” into being feedback about finding new alternatives.

Rather than feeling mistrustful, guilty or ashamed about eating difficulties, the recognition of ones own positive intentions leads to greater trust in oneself and gives a specific strategy for finding other alternatives. This is a healthier response than becoming frustrated as a result of using the typical “trial and error” (or “trial and horror”) approach.

Other NLP contributions to effective weight management include tools for motivation, mental rehearsal and for identifying and shifting limiting beliefs. Empowering beliefs, involving hope for the future, a sense of capability and responsibility and a sense of self worth and belonging are often the key to successful weight management.